STAYING IN TOUCH WITH FACEBOOK

If you prefer pictures and bite-size texts to long emails, following Eggshell Therapy's Facebook Page would be a great way to stay in touch. 

The journey of being emotionally sensitive and intense can be lonely. Words and arts are such powerful platform from which we can start a dialogue. 

I sometimes share personal insights in my own life on this page, and I try to update it once every couple of days.

I hope to see you there! 

Imi x

 

Caring for our mind is like caring for our home.

The work is never really done. Just when you have fixed your broken oven, paint falls off the wall. 
Just as you finished renovating one room, something else pops up.

But we don’t just abandon our house. When your toilet breaks, you don’t just ignore it. 
When the light bulb goes off, you don’t pretend it is not happening. 
We inhabit it so it is our obligation to care for it, love it, and accept all of it. 
And that is how we should care for our mind. 
Whatever you shame, deny, and push away is only going to get worse.
In one way or another, it will find a way to get your attention.

But hey, it is not all doom and gloom. 
However old, messy and imperfect, it is rewarding you every day with warmth, beauty and joy.

Welcome home.
 
 
Dear ones,

There are these days
Where you feel weak, and fearful, and sad.
Nothing disastrous has happened.
But you care too much about something to not feel paralysed by the fear of losing it.
You love too much to not feel anguish over the inevitable separation.

Here is what you do:
You let go.
Let go, let go, let go.
Radically let go of everything that matters.
Surrender to the possibility of losing all that you care about.
You are free when you return to zero
When you remember that you came to the world with nothing and will leave with nothing.
When you can love everything, and be attached to nothing.
Let go as much as you can, until you hit that place:
This, this one here, I simply cannot. CANNOT. Let. Go. Of.

Then, let go of the fact that you cannot let go anymore.

To get through a day like this
Imagine you are a child again, learning how to crawl.
And so you wobble forward.
Wobble, wobble, wobble, one step at a time
With all the vulnerability and tenderness, all the impending losses, sickness and death.

Suddenly, you turn around and realise that
Things cannot be any better or worse.
It’s your only reality, your only truth.

And you are not alone in this strange predicament.
Dear ones,

Yesterday, I learned something from losing my ground momentarily and lashing out at my partner:

Instead of saying Sorry, say Thank you.

Do you apologise excessively, even when there is no reason to?
Are you able to bounce back when you did something you regret, or does that lead you to endless emotional storms?

By apologising and seeking reassurance, we are behaving like children who depend on others to tell us we are okay.

We are not doing the world any good by reducing our own rights to be imperfect; instead, we can demonstrate strengths and sensibility by being accountable for our actions.

By keeping our backs straight and saying a humble ‘Thank you’, we free ourselves and others from a power dynamic, from the need to pretend, or to butter things up.
By replacing ‘Sorry’ with ‘Thank you’, the energy between us can flow freely again.

Therefore,

Instead of apologising for our existence, let’s own our space, including our right to make mistakes.
By doing so, we liberate others to do the same.

Rather than going down the rabbit hole of shame and blame, honour the others’ love for us by way of self-compassion.

In place of seeking forgiveness from other people, we free ourselves by letting things go.

Reciprocate kindness not by apologising, but inviting the other to grow with us in mutual appreciation.

Inch by inch, day by day, I am still learning to be a better lover to the world and those around us.

<3, Imi
 
Suddenly, we are being thrown into the deep end of winter.
With the confine of language, when we speak of ‘autumn’ and ‘winter’, we think of them as definitive concepts. When actually, if you pay close attention to a tree, it is constantly, moment by moment, shifting and changing.
‘Winter’ and ‘autumn’ are not separate entities. There is not one moment where one can pinpoint as upon which autumn turns into winter.
Perhaps things are not as solid as they seem.
There is a fluidity to the true nature of reality in all things.
As a season comes, it is already going.
As a leaf starts to flourish, it is also decaying.
The same can be said about our thinking and feelings.
As a thought arise, it is already on its way to leaving.
As a bad day, a bad patch, a bad experience comes, it is already on its way out.
But it is the same with the things you call ‘bad’, and the things you call ‘good’.
So at best you can, don’t hold onto any of them too tightly.
Be a light traveler in life.
We often forget how limited our perspective might be. We have a hard time relinquishing control, because of a deep-rooted belief that we must work hard to earn what we need and to fight in a world of scarcity.

Yet we all have the experience of negative events turning out to be a life-changing gift that is revealed only in hindsight.

The situation cannot resolve or heal itself until you fully release it to some unforeseeable force that is beyond your own perception.

Sometimes, when you lose your ‘dream’, you win your destiny.

And maybe this is one of those times.
Just maybe.
Try to trust, just for once.
What’s there to lose?

Yes, being gifted means you have certain high abilities, but that comes with very specific needs that if ignored, will create physical and mental illness.

If you are emotionally or intellectually gifted but fail to recognise it as such, you may fail to respect your own need for solitude, reflection, agency, and autonomy. You may shame yourself for being different, for not being able to conform.

Being able to honour your reverence for authenticity is essential to your growth and wellbeing.

Dear sensitive ones,

Your natural tendency is to give, to love, and to share, and expressing yourself is a birth right. Your ability to combine deep feelings with an active intellectual mind makes you capable of making powerful and impactful contribution the world needs.

When you are not aligned with your sense of purpose, and if your creativity is being stifled by your need to shrink and hide, you would end up feeling sick, stagnated, empty, and resentful. The frozenness inside you keep you feeling empty and numb, as if life is going pass by without you living it.

And that really hurts.

x
     

 

 
 
On staying open to our experience:

Openness does not mean passivity or being a doormat. It doesn’t mean you don’t do what is necessary to protect yourself and honour your sensitivity.

However, we acknowledge life itself is far from perfect, people and events are never just good or bad. In order to have the good, we must learn to cope with the bad.

If we are so afraid of our negative emotions that we keep shrinking our world, ultimately what we do is we hold ourselves back from the limitless possibilities and joy life has to offer.

Try and stay open, tender, and soft, to whatever life throws at you.


It gets easier, I promise.