CHALLENGES FOR THE GIFTED

 

HOW INTENSITY, DRIVE AND COMPLEXITY CAN COMPLICATE MATTERS

 

 INTENSITY

  • Being seen or named as being ‘too needy, too sensitive, too friendly, too excited, too driven, too disorganized, too fast, too competitive, too arrogant, work too hard’
  • Feeling like you are defected, in the wrong
  • Paralysed by the sense of shame or fear of failure
  • Despair from feeling like an outsider
  • Deep existential depression and loneliness
  • Struggling to find friends/ romantic partner that could match your level of intensity
  • Desire for high stimulus situations

 

DRIVE

  • A highly critical inner voice
  • Chronic anxiety
  • Using alcohol, drugs, food or other behaviours to self- medicate
  • Obsessive-compulsive behaviours to assert control
  • Disappointment and frustration in others due to high internal standard
  • ‘Anti-procrastination syndrome’ – being ‘hyper-efficient’ and losing patience for others
  • Fear of wasting any time
  • ‘Super-hero syndrome’ – Feeling that you can do it all, struggle to delegate
  • Suppressing ambition altogether – feels empty and finding life meaningless
  • Confusing exhaustion for accomplishment

 

COMPLEXITY

  • A chronic sense of void and feeling unfulfilled
  • Difficulties making decisions
  • Fear of losing control
  • Struggling to tame your active mind when you need to
  • Out-smarting others as a way of expressing anger
  • Perfectionism
  • Not able to enjoy activities, books or TV that most people enjoy

 

 

 

A BRIEF GUIDE FOR THE GIFTED

 

WHAT DO WE DO here to support gifted adults and young adults with their exceptional Intensity, Drive and Complexity?

Asynchronous development, overexcitabilities and multipotentiality all require specialized knowledge, and intervention for a positive outcome.

 

Here are some of the things that maybe useful for the gifted person to find his/ her way in the world:

  •   Accepting your limitation
  •   Owning your gifts and your drive whilst letting go of perfectionism
  •   Knowing when and when not to ask for what you want
  •   Being aware of time where you are exposed to the wound of being called ‘too much’
  •  Learning to deal with the frustration of when others cannot keep up
  •  Learning to say or do the right thing in the right context- part of managing excitabilities
  •  Understanding some concious or unconscious reactions people have towards giftedness, including envy
  •  Honouring your quirky sense of humour and finding the right context for them
  •  Working with that inner critic that is at times out of control
  •  Dealing with obsessive thinking or rumination
  •  Be more tolerant of your own and others’ mistakes
  •  Identify where the line is drawn: Is that really your responsibility? Especially in cases of 'parentification'
  •  Stop procrastinating due to the fear of failure

 

More specifically, here are some of the things I discuss with gifted young adults:

  • How to stay on track with your main gifts, vision and mission.
  • Not only conceptualize (big thinking) but also and operationalize (small doing)
  • How to get what you need and want from the world and others
  • Managing emotional sensitivity, intensity or other over-excitabilities- using them to your advantage
  • What to do with mundane tasks
  • How to stay focused, not scattered in midst of multiple potentials
  • How to manage strong reactions to injustice in this world
  • Building resilience and thrive on setbacks

‘There is no-one so powerful as a person who feels loved, encouraged and supported. We evolve at the rate of the tribe we’re plugged into.’

~ Nick Williams