The Love of Your Life May Not be a Person
Today’s letter is one of those ‘musing’ that has been personally pertinent to me. I hope some of you will resonate with this and get… Read More »The Love of Your Life May Not be a Person
Today’s letter is one of those ‘musing’ that has been personally pertinent to me. I hope some of you will resonate with this and get… Read More »The Love of Your Life May Not be a Person
In recent years, with the proliferation of self-help, motivational speaking and the social pressure to adopt ‘positive thinking,’ the word ‘victim’ has become a… Read More »What’s Wrong with Admitting ‘I was a Victim’?
Resilience is found in a middle ground where you neither drown in emotions nor avoid them altogether. Typically, when it comes to the landscape of… Read More »Do You Drown, or Do You Run Away?
‘Stuck in Life’ Feeling — Indecision, Regrets, and Procrastination “Stuck in life’– We are stuck in life when we refuse to face the givens of… Read More »Stuck in Life — On Indecision, Regrets and Procrastination
Dear Ones I hope you have survived/ enjoyed the festive time, and are looking forward to a new start. Before we dive in, I would… Read More »Do you suffer from Toxic Nostalgia? Shedding expired relationships and moving on
By covering up our anger, prematurely moving into fake forgiveness, drowning our truths to protect others, letting go of our boundaries for surface harmony, we are bypassing an essential step in our attainment of emotional freedom.
But how do we come to terms with our wounds? How could we, despite being deeply injured, move past and beyond our history?
It may seem paradoxical at first glance, but the answer to healing from defensive non-attachment is actually to affirm our ultimate autonomy and resilience.
We push away good things in life because deep down, we worry that we would not survive losses and heartbreaks.
If we know we are strong enough to go through grieve, disappointment and heartbreaks, then placing our trust in someone’s hand would become much less threatening.
Sometimes, in an intimate partnership, we could not help but act out of unrealistic demands, projections, and expectations, as if we are testing the limit of reality.
We often, albeit unconsciously, look to our current relationships to fulfil our deepest unfulfilled needs and longings, to plug the gaps in our psyches, and to heal where we have been wounded. When our partner disappoints us, the situation provides valuable information that points to our deepest longings.
Through awareness and reflections, we realise what we are deeply hungry for – someone to mirror our expressions, to celebrate our existence, for us to trust and occasionally rely on, or to share a sense of kinship and likeness.
If we were to peel back, one layer after another, to the root of what now seems to be an unruly beast, we often find a tiny, fragile, tender seed of deprived need.
Because of their innate excitabilities, and the capacity to absorb and process a vast amount of information, they need a consistent supply of rigorous, ‘good quality’ stimulations, from a multitude of sources.
Physical activities, sensual comfort, emotional depth, intellectual discourse, cultures, adventures and having varieties in life— these are the essential nutrients for their health and optimal functioning.
How can you be yourself, even when you are different? Can you live with full integrity, without being attacked or annihilated?
We shall explore how to survive situations and conventional settings in which you don’t neatly ‘fit in,’ or even inadvertently attacked or put down. We will discuss how to manage painful emotional flashbacks, set personal and psychological boundaries, bounce back from interpersonal injuries, and ultimately, use these hostile situations as opportunities to learn and grow.