Letters to the Intense soul
Letters To The Intense Soul is a regular email feed that contains psychological, therapeutic and spiritual insights.
By subscribing, you will receive letters from me that include:
– Physical, psychological, and spiritual theories, as well as latest research about emotional intensity
– The art and science on how to live life fully
– Practises you can do to consolidate the learnings
join us on FACEBOOK
If you prefer pictures and bite-sized texts to long emails, following Eggshell Facebook Page would be a great way to stay in touch. Each post is about 400-800 words. Think of them as ‘bite-size consolation’ and a way to stay in touch !
I hope to see you there.
Here are some of the previous letters:
- Do You Drown, or Do You Run Away? July 5, 2021 - DO YOU DROWN, OR DO YOU RUN AWAY? Resilience is found in a middle ground where you neither drown in emotions nor avoid them altogether. Typically, when it comes to the landscape of our emotions, we find two ways of traveling that lie on two opposite ends of a spectrum. Metaphorically, one is the ‘Artist’s Way’. The other one is the ‘Jester’s Way’. A variety of factors, from our innate temperament to our upbringing to cultural influences,… … Continue reading "Do You Drown, or Do You Run Away?"
- Feeling Stuck in Life — On Indecision, Regrets and Procrastination May 10, 2021 - On Feeling Stuck in Life — Indecision, Regrets, and Procrastination We are stuck in life when we refuse to face the givens of life. When we do not reconcile with the human given that we are limited, eery ‘symptoms’ such as procrastination, chronic indecision, stagnation, inertia, and self-sabotage will emerge, making us feel stuck in life. To mature spiritually, we must look at our past and courageously grieve the paths not taken, but honor the paths that we have taken. There… … Continue reading "Feeling Stuck in Life — On Indecision, Regrets and Procrastination"
- Do you suffer from Toxic Nostalgia? Shedding expired relationships and moving on December 31, 2020 - Dear Ones I hope you have survived/ enjoyed the festive time, and are looking forward to a new start. Before we dive in, I would like to share something personal with you: There is a black hole in the back of my psyche, and it is called ‘I have done everything wrong and made all the wrong decisions in my life’. That hole is deep and dark, filled with regrets and grief. When things don’t go well, my feelings often… … Continue reading "Do you suffer from Toxic Nostalgia? Shedding expired relationships and moving on"
- Release Our Family, Free Our Souls- What Forgiving Them Really Means May 5, 2019 - By covering up our anger, prematurely moving into fake forgiveness, drowning our truths to protect others, letting go of our boundaries for surface harmony, we are bypassing an essential step in our attainment of emotional freedom. But how do we come to terms with our wounds? How could we, despite being deeply injured, move past and beyond our history? … Continue reading "Release Our Family, Free Our Souls- What Forgiving Them Really Means"
- On Our Fear of love December 5, 2018 - It may seem paradoxical at first glance, but the answer to healing from defensive non-attachment is actually to affirm our ultimate autonomy and resilience. We push away good things in life because deep down, we worry that we would not survive losses and heartbreaks. If we know we are strong enough to go through grieve, disappointment and heartbreaks, then placing our trust in someone’s hand would become much less threatening. … Continue reading "On Our Fear of love"
- Our Quest For Love- What do we Really Want from Our Partner? November 27, 2018 - Sometimes, in an intimate partnership, we could not help but act out of unrealistic demands, projections, and expectations, as if we are testing the limit of reality.We often, albeit unconsciously, look to our current relationships to fulfil our deepest unfulfilled needs and longings, to plug the gaps in our psyches, and to heal where we have been wounded. When our partner disappoints us, the situation provides valuable information that points to our deepest longings. Through awareness and reflections, we realise… … Continue reading "Our Quest For Love- What do we Really Want from Our Partner?"
- about Addictions and Compulsions July 10, 2018 - If we were to peel back, one layer after another, to the root of what now seems to be an unruly beast, we often find a tiny, fragile, tender seed of deprived need.Because of their innate excitabilities, and the capacity to absorb and process a vast amount of information, they need a consistent supply of rigorous, ‘good quality’ stimulations, from a multitude of sources.Physical activities, sensual comfort, emotional depth, intellectual discourse, cultures, adventures and having varieties in life— these are… … Continue reading "about Addictions and Compulsions"
- “Do People Hate Me?” – Surviving Judgement, Criticism and Rejection when you are a Non- Conformist June 19, 2018 - How can you be yourself, even when you are different? Can you live with full integrity, without being attacked or annihilated? We shall explore how to survive situations and conventional settings in which you don’t neatly ‘fit in,' or even inadvertently attacked or put down. We will discuss how to manage painful emotional flashbacks, set personal and psychological boundaries, bounce back from interpersonal injuries, and ultimately, use these hostile situations as opportunities to learn and grow. … Continue reading "“Do People Hate Me?” – Surviving Judgement, Criticism and Rejection when you are a Non- Conformist"
- I’ve done Everything I can to Fix Myself…now What? June 17, 2018 - “MY CBT therapist told me those were ‘irrational thinking,’ which made it worse- now I just blame myself;”“ I have gone through my childhood trauma many times, but when I argue with my partner, I still behave like a five-year-old!” Our psyche, like everything else in nature, has its wisdom. When our psyche is fully equipped, we could not stop the move towards wholeness even if we try. … Continue reading "I’ve done Everything I can to Fix Myself…now What?"
- “So, I Quit” – Why stripping away your False Self is the best way forward February 28, 2018 - What do you do when no one is watching? With whom do you feel most at ease? When does your natural humour, playfulness, and spontaneity come out?Many of us have developed an adaptive social self, or a way of being that is carefully edited, partially silenced and rigidly held. In this letter, I start with a personal sharing about my struggle to walk away from the conventional myths of what we must do and the cultural confines of what it means to be… … Continue reading "“So, I Quit” – Why stripping away your False Self is the best way forward"
- Loneliness and Fitting in September 6, 2017 - Can you feel truly belonged, if you are not being yourself? Here is the news:You are allowed to tell someone you are angry, annoyed, frustrated, even when there is no ‘justified,' ‘logical’ reason. You are allowed to tell the world the strength and velocity of your feelings.You are allowed to stop putting on that fake smile. You do not need anyone’s permission for all the intensity inside of you to come up and come out. … Continue reading "Loneliness and Fitting in"
- Are you Hiding in Your Head, Away from Your Life? August 1, 2017 - Can you be emotionally intense and emotionally empty at the same time? Do you have a mind too busy, yet a heart that feels vacant?How is it that you can be both too full and too empty? … Continue reading "Are you Hiding in Your Head, Away from Your Life?"
- Spiritual Practice for the Emotionally Intense June 17, 2016 - Spiritual practice is the act of harnessing a kind of soul strength that is deeper than what meets the eyes.By having the ability to see, hear and know the mysteries that lies beyond science and logic, we can draw power from something much greater than ourselves.Here are four spiritual lessons that are especially relevant and useful to the emotionally intense and spiritually sensitive individuals. … Continue reading "Spiritual Practice for the Emotionally Intense"
- Personal Sharing: How I was robbed and became the Super Mario May 26, 2016 - People do not ‘get back to normal’ after a loss. Grief doesn't move us towards a new solution, but rather, a transformation. A crisis like this can set us free by revealing the truth about life— that it is unpredictable and sometimes precarious. We are forced to break through the illusion that we can control life, and to face the raw reality of how little power we have. If we can face and accept this, we can access the deep… … Continue reading "Personal Sharing: How I was robbed and became the Super Mario"
- Is your past holding you back from true intimacy? April 11, 2016 - Have you ever wondered why you attracted a certain type of people into your life?Or, why do you keep coming across the same type of problems with authority figures or romantic partners?Why do you seem to behave or react in ways that seem irrational?The psychology concept of transference may help us understand these relationship phenomena. … Continue reading "Is your past holding you back from true intimacy?"
- Releasing the anger towards our parents- Seeing reality as what is April 1, 2016 - Intellectually, we know that our parents cannot change who they are; Rationally, we know that the past is in the past. On many levels, we have forgiven them. However, these do not change the emotional reality that is raw, heavy, reactive, uncontrollable and full of rage. … Continue reading "Releasing the anger towards our parents- Seeing reality as what is"
- Emotional Thawing: Can you love and trust with your whole heart? March 6, 2016 - Part of you wants to love and trust wholeheartedly, to immerse in all-encompassing love, to experience exuberant joy and excitement, whilst another part of you is anxious about losses, betrayal and abandonment. … Continue reading "Emotional Thawing: Can you love and trust with your whole heart?"
- Honing your Intuition as an Empath: What if my heart and my head say different things ? February 3, 2016 - If your logical mind or rational reason have not caught up with your intuitive senses, you will experience it as a confusing ‘head-and-heart-split’. … Continue reading "Honing your Intuition as an Empath: What if my heart and my head say different things ?"
- Becoming your best self by learning from the world around you January 19, 2016 - All you have to do, is to preserve the part of you that is curious, and see the world as presenting to you a series of exciting learning opportunities. You do not have to be ‘there’ already, you are already at your healthiest when you keep your mind open, recognise your own gifts and virtues, and proactively strive towards becoming the best version of yourself. … Continue reading "Becoming your best self by learning from the world around you"
- What ‘Frozen’ teaches us about being an emotionally intense person January 10, 2016 - Our ultimate yearning as human beings is to be seen, heard, and accepted for the full extent of who we are.... You do not have to choose between power and love, or between freedom and connection. You can have both. … Continue reading "What ‘Frozen’ teaches us about being an emotionally intense person"
- How to let go: Get in touch with spirituality with one simple exercise December 7, 2015 - It is not about worshiping a deity, but about harnessing a sense of trust that your life is unfolding in the perfect order. … Continue reading "How to let go: Get in touch with spirituality with one simple exercise"
- Surviving your family reunion November 5, 2015 - After having spent years trying to break free from the chain of pain and guilt, you have successfully walked away and built a life outside of home- yet somehow, minutes into a reunion can have you regressed back into feeling and behaving like a vulnerable child, or a raging teenager. … Continue reading "Surviving your family reunion"
- Finding productivity: When common sense doesn’t make sense October 22, 2015 - Finding your flow is especially challenging if you have heightened intensity in one or more areas —because ‘common sense’ or ‘general rules’ do not apply in your case... Others may be surprised by, or even feel intimidated by your lifestyle choices. … Continue reading "Finding productivity: When common sense doesn’t make sense"
- Bringing your Shadow Self into Light October 19, 2015 - Do you sometimes find yourself acting in ways that are‘out-of-character’ ? Do you struggle with powerful surges of emotions such as anger or envy and cannot legitimise their causes?Do you sometimes feel surprised by aspects of your personality? … Continue reading "Bringing your Shadow Self into Light"
- The Power of Grief September 21, 2015 - Grief is part of truly living. Living is not the same as avoiding dying and a painless existence is a vacant one. Grief has value, as long as we are able to digest it healthily without pushing it away. … Continue reading "The Power of Grief"